My name is Sarah Cornelius, Chief Executive of the Joshua Foundation and more importantly, Joshua's mother. I want to thank you for taking the time to read our website and would like to share with you my personal story. As with all stories, I will start at the beginning and while I do not under appreciate one moment of my life, in essence my life story really begins on May 8th 1991. For on that day, my son Joshua was born  and from the moment he walked at 8 months I knew he was a special child. His life was to be extraordinary, not least because of his amazing zest and passion for life. Joshua always took life by the horns and he was in it for every moment; every experience.

In October 1995 Joshua and I moved to Israel  where I was a visiting doctoral student, completing my law thesis on war crimes trials at the Hebrew University, Jerusalem. Joshua went to a Hebrew speaking school and spent many an afternoon playing on the walls of the old city of Jerusalem. We returned to the UK in the summer of 1996 and I took up post as a Lecturer in International Criminal Law at the University of Sussex. Joshua settled into his new school in Burgess Hill, near where we lived and life was good. On Friday December 20th 1996 I picked Joshua up from his end of school party and travelled home to my parents home in Wales. We were due to be home for 10 days and then back to Brighton. But, the path of  destiny was at that moment knocking on my door. On Christmas Eve a playful five minutes changed my life forever.

Josh was lying across my stomach and we were playing drums on his stomach while watching TV. Suddenly I felt a mass on his left hand side, just  under his rib cage. I mentioned it to my mother and made the decision that after the Christmas close down I would take him to the doctor. I took Joshua to the doctors on December 27th and since we were registered in Brighton we were seen as visitors and waited for hours to be seen by a doctor. By this time my gut reaction as a mother had kicked in. A few days later, after admission to hospital,  a consultant came to see me- he took me to one side and told me quite frankly- “ Your little boy has trouble in his tummy- most likely cancer” That was it – my instincts were right and something was VERY WRONG.

I cannot begin to explain the impact of those words on my life. You would not even begin to understand unless you have been there. Only those of us who have stood at that abyss know, really know and it is a dark and painful place. There is nothing worse than what I was to discover two weeks later. Joshua not only had cancer, but it was terminal. He had a very rare form of abdominal cancer and there were no known survivors. We were told he had nine weeks to live- so chemo was the only option to extend his life. It was nothing short of a nightmare. Within weeks Joshua lost his beautiful blond hair and to add to the woes, picked up E-Coli which got into his central line system and on one occasion I was called to his bedside in I.T.U. to say goodbye. Joshua however had other ideas. From the place where only those facing the very worse type of nightmare find strength, Joshua fought against the odds and  we never looked back. 6 months after diagnosis a change happened. I really took on board that my son was going to die and I had to make a choice. Walter Frankel, an Auschwitz survivor once said that we cannot really chose what happens to us in life, but we can chose how we react to those things that happen to us. There is the real test. BAD things happen to everyone- and from them we can look up and move forward or chose to give up. I chose life and in many ways that was when I started to live. At the moment when I knew that the most precious thing in the world was dying, I started to live.

The next two years was a whirlwind of living. We lived each and every day as if it was the last. We travelled  -We were very lucky and in the summer of 1998, upon returning to the UK after a holiday in California I decided to turn our experience into something positive for others. Joshua and I had dinner in Planet Hollywood, London on Saturday August 1st 1998,and while eating Joshua asked if  we could bring some of the kids from his cancer unit up to London for a meal. An idea began to form in my mind.

The Joshua Foundation was born at that moment.

I returned home and started planning. Now, anyone who knows me will know that I do not do things by half. I knew by now that Joshua was living on borrowed time and that when you dream something, it is today that you take action. Joshua spent the summer of 1998 playing in the sunshine- riding a bike too fast and without a care in the world. I started organising the Joshua Foundation and on September 5th 1998 the first trustee meeting was held and on September 27th the first fundraising event was held- a  5K fun run/walk where an amazing 600 turned up and over £16,000 was raised!  Joshua was there and did the whole thing on his bike, despite being on oral morphine by now.

The next few weeks of my life were the worst- no matter what ever happens to me in the future nothing will compare to the autumn of 1998. Joshua’s treatment had to stop- there was nothing more than could be done and slowly Joshua deteriorated and was eventually bed-bound. It is beyond description to share those days but please be sure of one thing- a  child dying of cancer is not the sweet/nice, angels fluttering over head event that Hollywood depicts. My son lost all his functions; went blind and died in my arms. He was just 7 years old. The date was December 4th 1998. 

To be honest, the Joshua Foundation was my salvation. In the aftermath of Joshua’s death I did not have time to feel sorry for myself. After our fun run in September I had set in motion the dream that was Joshua’s- the meal at Planet Hollywood and with the support of family and friend s, that dream came true on January 16th/17th 1999. We gathered children from across the UK who had terminal cancer and we brought them to London for a weekend experience- a double-decker tour of London; a river ride; a visit to the Zoo and the high point was the limo ride to Planet Hollywood, along with the film premier and the meal. We had achieved Joshua’s dream.

But things did not end there. We had captured the imagination of people and Joshua’s story meant that every day envelopes were arriving- donations from people who believed that we were doing something much needed. Then there was the hospitals- they kept referring children to us and there was a real need for our work. You see, by this point we were providing holidays and experiences for children with terminal cancer and we were, and still are, the only UK charity that specifically assists children with terminal cancer. There are many worthwhile wish granting charities- but none that knew the specific needs of children and their families where a child has terminal cancer. None that involved the whole family and none that more clearly understood the importance of these trips and experiences.

Since our launch in September 1998, the Joshua Foundation has assisted thousands of terminally ill children and their families and we now work with 11 of the Paediatric Oncology Units in the UK. We also have close working links with overseas units such as the Melbourne Children’s Hospital ,Haddasah Hospital, Jerusalem and we provide funding for playworkers at both the Bucharest Hospital in Romania and the Mother and Childrens Hospital in Ullanbattar in Mongolia. In the 10 years since Joshua died, we have raised over £5 million pounds. We now run both group and indivdual experiences that are as varied as trips to Euro-Disney, Florida, Copenhagen, London; we provide gifts such as computers, digital camera’s; organise for youngsters to meet their favourite pop and sport stars as well as more unusual requests. One young girl asked if she could touch an elephant and I noted on her referral notes that she had wanted to be a vet so we arranged for her to work at Bristol Zoo for the day. Another girl mentioned that she was a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang fan so since I knew who owned the car from the film I arranged for her to take a ride.  In addition to these individual trips we also run annual group trips- the first to Euro-Disney  and the most popular, our annual trips to Lapland. We also hold an annual Halloween party and breakfast with Santa and Easter bunny parties.

We raise our funds in a variety of ways but in all we do we try to  enrich the lives of our supporters We hope to motivate people to make a difference to the lives of others. This stands as the pivot in our philosophy-charity work goes both ways- the giver gets as much out of giving as the receiver does from receiving.

It will be 11 years in December that my son died and while I would change that fact if I could I know that this is not going to happen. Joshua was the quintessential defining moment of my life; an incredible life force who showed me in his short life what living is all about. His testament far outshines the contributions made by others who live much longer lives and in his memory I believe that George Bernard Shaw was right when he said the following

“ The true joy of life is being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one. It is better to be a force of nature, instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations. “

It is my firm belief that one can be empowered by crisis and tragedy. In Joshua's memory the work of the Joshua Foundation continues and I thank you for taking the time to learn about our work and Joshua's story.

Join us in making life an experience…

Sarah Cornelius
Chief Executive
The Joshua Foundation